{"title":"St. Joseph Shirts","description":"\u003cp\u003eSt. Joseph protected the Holy Family in silence, guided by faith rather than words. Patron of workers, fathers, and the universal Church, his devotion is defined by quiet, unwavering obedience. These shirts honor a strength that never needed to be loud. Ultra-soft ring-spun cotton, printed in the USA, XS to 5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"saint-joseph-protector-of-the-church-t-shirt","title":"Saint Joseph Protector of The Church T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eTerror of Demons. Protector of the Church. The strongest quiet man who ever lived.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eA stunning vintage illustration of St. Joseph holding the Child Jesus and a lily, haloed in golden light. The design features the opening lines of the powerful prayer to St. Joseph, his title \"Terror of Demons,\" and a portrait medallion of Joseph the carpenter at work in his shop. The man who protected the Holy Family now rides with you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003ePrinted in the USA. True to size. XS to 5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eEvery Certified Catholic purchase donates 10% of profits to Catholic Charities USA.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Certified Catholic","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":44898448048173,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44898448080941,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44898448113709,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44898448146477,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44898448179245,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44898448212013,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44898448244781,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":44898448277549,"sku":null,"price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":44898448310317,"sku":null,"price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0751\/0864\/6957\/files\/saintjosephprotectorofthechurchblackmockup.jpg?v=1777680106"},{"product_id":"bethlehem-inn-1-star-review-t-shirt","title":"Bethlehem Inn 1 Star Review T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eNo vacancy. Would not recommend. Still changed the world though.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eA classic engraving-style portrait of Saint Joseph above the review that needed to be written. \"Bethlehem Inn\" in elegant serif lettering. One gold star out of five. \"No vacancy. would not recommend.\" The most consequential lodging decision in human history, rated accordingly. This is the Catholic humor sweet spot: deeply reverent in what it references, completely unserious in how it says it. A guaranteed conversation starter every time you wear it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eUltra-soft ring-spun cotton. Printed in the USA. True to size. XS to 5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eEvery Certified Catholic purchase donates 10% of profits to Catholic Charities USA.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Certified Catholic","offers":[{"title":"White \/ XS","offer_id":66858352508973,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":66858352541741,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":66858352574509,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":66858352607277,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":66858352640045,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":66858352672813,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":66858352705581,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":66858352738349,"sku":null,"price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":66858352771117,"sku":null,"price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0751\/0864\/6957\/files\/bethleheminnonestarwhitemockup.jpg?v=1781300522"},{"product_id":"st-joseph-quote-t-shirt","title":"St. Joseph Quote T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe most understated reaction to the worst travel day in history.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eA classic engraving-style portrait of Saint Joseph, lily in hand, looking exactly like a man who just got some very bad news at the front desk. Above him, in elegant italic serif lettering: \"Wait, they're out of rooms?\" Attributed below to \"St. Joseph, Bethlehem.\" Calm. Composed. Completely blindsided. Joseph handled the no-vacancy situation with more grace than any of us would have managed, and this shirt honors that quietly. Pairs perfectly with the Bethlehem Inn one-star review if you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eUltra-soft ring-spun cotton. Printed in the USA. True to size. XS to 5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eEvery Certified Catholic purchase donates 10% of profits to Catholic Charities USA.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Certified Catholic","offers":[{"title":"White \/ XS","offer_id":66861835649069,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":66861835681837,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":66861835714605,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":66861835747373,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":66861835780141,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":66861835812909,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":66861835845677,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":66861835878445,"sku":null,"price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":66861835911213,"sku":null,"price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":66861834141741,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":66861834174509,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":66861834207277,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":66861834240045,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":66861834272813,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":66861834305581,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":66861834338349,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":66861834371117,"sku":null,"price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":66861834403885,"sku":null,"price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XS","offer_id":66861833551917,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":66861833584685,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":66861833617453,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":66861833650221,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":66861833682989,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":66861833715757,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":66861833748525,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 4XL","offer_id":66861833781293,"sku":null,"price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 5XL","offer_id":66861833814061,"sku":null,"price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XS","offer_id":66861834436653,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":66861834469421,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":66861834502189,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":66861834534957,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":66861834567725,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":66861834600493,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":66861834633261,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 4XL","offer_id":66861834666029,"sku":null,"price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 5XL","offer_id":66861834698797,"sku":null,"price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0751\/0864\/6957\/files\/stjosephquotewhitemockup.jpg?v=1781365274"},{"product_id":"st-joseph-out-of-rooms-t-shirt","title":"St. Joseph Out of Rooms T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"_chunkWrapper_6ta1u_30\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"_chunkWrapper_6ta1u_30\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"0\"\u003eThe face of a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"14\"\u003eman who just got the worst \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"41\"\u003enews at the worst possible \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"68\"\u003etime.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"_chunkWrapper_6ta1u_30\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"0\"\u003e\"Wait...\" across \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"17\"\u003ethe top. Saint Joseph \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"39\"\u003estanding with his lily, expression \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"74\"\u003edoing all the heavy \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"94\"\u003elifting. \"They're Out of Rooms\" \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"126\"\u003ein heavy bold lettering \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"150\"\u003ebelow. No quote marks. No \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"176\"\u003eframing. Just the moment, landing \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"210\"\u003eexactly as it should. Same \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"237\"\u003eNativity, same Joseph, bolder \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"267\"\u003edelivery. Where the white \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"293\"\u003eversion plays it as a deadpan \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"323\"\u003equote, this one leans into \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"350\"\u003ethe meme format: the pause, \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"378\"\u003ethe face, the punchline. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"403\"\u003eFor the Catholic who \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"424\"\u003ecommunicates primarily in \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"450\"\u003ereaction images and still goes \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"481\"\u003eto Mass every Sunday.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"_chunkWrapper_6ta1u_30\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"0\"\u003eUlt\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"3\"\u003era-soft ring-spun \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"21\"\u003ecotton. Printed in the USA. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"49\"\u003eTrue to size. XS to 5XL.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"_chunkWrapper_6ta1u_30\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"0\"\u003eEvery Certified \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"16\"\u003eCatholic purchase donates \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"42\"\u003e10% of profits to Catholic \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"_animating_6ta1u_10\" data-newtext-seq=\"69\"\u003eCharities USA.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Certified Catholic","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":66861875494957,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":66861875527725,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 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S","offer_id":66861894598701,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":66861894631469,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":66861894664237,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":66861894697005,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":66861894729773,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":66861894762541,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 4XL","offer_id":66861894795309,"sku":null,"price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 5XL","offer_id":66861894828077,"sku":null,"price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 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